Just another UMW Blogs weblog

Prompt:  Write from the point of view of a historic/fictional character.  Select a side of that person that would not be expected; can be anachronistic.

The Slurpea

First off, I just wanted a Coke slurpee.

The 7-Eleven in my kingdom

had run out, so I rode my horse,

Thor, over to the next.

As I drew nearer,

clouds burst,

the wind whipped,

and a sudden crack of lightning terrified

the not-so-mighty Thor.

//He reared up and I sailed

through the air, landing with a

splash in a muddy puddle.

I clenched my jaw

only to feel the grit of dirt

and taste the slimy earthiness

between my teeth.

Dragging myself up,

I watched as

my useless horse took off,

leaving me stranded in

the oncoming darkness and storm.

//A burst of lightning sliced

across the sky,

illuminating a boxy castle,

sharp triangular outlines of

flags snapping furiously

from atop

their proud perches

on the towers.

//I hiked up my dress

and hauled myself in that direction.

My shoes squished their protests

with each step.

//I just wanted a simple place to crash

for the night,

so imagine my surprise when

the old bitch

who opened the door gave me

the stink eye then

led me off to a room

with the tallest bed I’ve ever seen.

After what I’d gone through,

climbing Mt. Everest

was the last thing I wanted to do that night.

//It got weirder

when I went to put on my pajamas.

On my way back, I saw that lady

put a pea

under the bottom mattress

then slink out the door.

//I’ll admit it,

I was pissed that I had to clamber

up the side

of mattress mountain.

I was also creeped out

by the 007 pea placement.

So the next morning I bitched about

how crappy my sleep had been,

hoping they’d want me to leave.


her son popped up

from God knows where,

babbling about taking my hand

in marriage.

//The wedding is next weekend.

Damn slurpee.


Subject:  Princess from Hans Christian Andersen’s “The Princess and the Pea”


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